12.7.05

zig zigler, here i come

So I'm not very friendly. At least not historically so. I'm just not the one to run out and make friends. I have two. I'm fine with that. Well I was fine with that, until I moved across the country twice. Conor is more friendly than I am. To say the least. Conor goes out to ask some rather large men in the parking lot to turn down their music, because he can't get the baby to sleep. He comes back having made two rather large friends. Whereas I would more likely have to avoid them for the rest of my tenure in the apartment complex. At the end of 4 years, Conor will either 1) become an officer, or 2) leave the military. I don't know that I'm cut out to be an officer's wife. The thought of me at some gala in a ball gown is ludicrous. I'd be more comfortable out back with the kitchen staff feeding stray cats. I've just never been good at playing the game. That's why I was a miserable failure at management. I digress. Now that I'm in a place where I know no one, I have decided to hitch up my britches and make some friends. Not just any friends, mind you. As I mentioned in a previous post, mediocre friends make me weary. So I have set out on an expedition. So far it's been slow going, with a baby on my boob and no car for 12 hours a day. I met a nice lady in a hippie mama forum who has bees. On purpose, not like in her gutters. It's a big move for me, and I'm quite proud of myself. So there.

25 rubber neckers:

gone said...

I suggest avoiding hippies with bees. I sense an allergy danger and large quantities of homegrown hydroponic goodness...not very becoming for an officer's wife.

sweetviolet said...

when did you get so witty? her husband is a chiropractor, so I think they MUST be upstanding citizens, right? And who am I to judge, my sister has donkeys. (insert ass joke here)

gone said...

I knew a girl who had emu's. But that doesn't make it right. And...chiropractors are quacks that smoke some of the best puff on the planet. Beware!

ChiroMum said...

Woo hoo! I made the blog!! Ok, note to previous commenter - the proper terminology is either Quack-er-practer or Spineplumber. We prefer spineplumber as the mental image conjured is classic! Now...what did I do with that deposit? I think I'm getting the munchies..............hmmm...what was I saying?

sweetviolet said...

ha. hahahaha. ha ha. why is there something so satisfying about that?

fat little pug said...

hmmmm....you know my feelings on the hippies....and i'm allergic to bees

this won't work out....

SheeniSaunders said...

I want to know who your two friends are.... and if I didn't make the list, there is going to be hell to pay...

sweetviolet said...

perhaps we could tame the power of the bees to use as we will. we'll be unstoppable!

sweetviolet said...

my two friends just posted one after the other. proof that i have two friends!

WunEyedDog said...

This is absurdity. 'Nuff said. Mmmmm....honey...

gone said...

Well, I just hope I didn't offend the quack-o-practer. I had no idea the spineplumber would be stopping by to notice me calling her a smelly pothead. I was totally joking, besides...my wife used to be a hippie and I'm still finding bong resin hidden in her pockets.

sweetviolet said...

there you go again jacob being offensive and stuff. cults, quacks, what's next? i think she had a pretty good sense of humor about it. maybe you should get some things dry cleaned?

gone said...

Hey, I took it easy. I left the whole busy bee thing alone, didn't I? Give em a few minutes to think and I'll tear that up, too.

Never hold back in the face of potential comedy.

I really don't know what I'm saying. I think I'm losing control of my tact. Go figure.

ChiroMum said...

Loved the quack-y witty comments, cannot be trusted! Tact, schmact!

Mmmmmm....bong resin....tasty (but not as tasty as honey!).

Eric said...

I was actually going to leave a serious comment on the post, but after reading the other comments it just doesn't seem appropriate. We moved our grill off the deck on Sunday and only after they started flying around the house discovered that there was a beehive inside.

Ayn Marie said...

I'm never afraid to leave a serious comment. I was thinking about how much better it is to have one great friend than 10 crappy ones. I also have a hard time making friends, I never used to, but then again, I never used to be picky.

sweetviolet said...

see eric, if you were a hippie you'd just make pets out of them

perky - pickyperky....i couldn't help myself, i'll tell you my secret friend finding place if you waaaant.

gone said...

Whew!

sweetviolet said...

i know...see what you started...this post is retired.

gone said...

Retire it not! Let's start listing peculiar phrases from this post...like, "hitch up my britches," or, "with a baby on my boob," or, "hippie mama forum."

gone said...

Now you've exceeded twenty comments and you have me to thank!

ChiroMum said...

"Hitch up my britches" was a great comment, I'm rather partial to the babe on boob and hippie mamma's forum, but my favorite thus far has to be "homegrown hydroponic goodness".

sweetviolet said...

thank you jacob, for being part of this milestone. maybe there are some good band names to be had from these posts. how about allergy danger, or girl with emus/sister with donkeys. or don't forget spineplumber.

fat little pug said...

i also have to add that i LOVE that picture of baby v. i almost peed my pants when i saw it. i'm putting it on the fridge next to the deer humping picture.

sweetviolet said...

...thanks for sharing the picture arrangement. I too enjoy that picture of violet...it is entitled "what of it??!"

 

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