what i set out to do

I started this little blog as a life-affirming exercise as my title might suggest. Little did I know it would in short time put me on speaking terms with people I haven't spoken to (and sadly haven't wanted to speak to) in years. It is one more little thing that Violet has done for me. She is teaching me what is important. Thank you, baby V. It is also something I've learned from Conor. When Conor's parents came to visit last time, they brought with them boxes of tattered birthday cards and boy scout patches, and various other little mementos that belonged to the boy Conor. While I have nary a sentimental bone in my body, I forget that Conor is not me. My friend Jenny always says she'll never buy me anything, because she's afraid I'll throw it away. Since we're drowning in boxes, I sat down on the floor and held up dinosaur coins and D&D dice, asking Conor what he wanted to keep and what he wanted to get rid of. When we had it all divided up, I looked up at his cherubic face, and saw tears. I was baffled. I scrambled around. "What? What? What did I do?" He couldn't really tell me what was wrong. I caught little bits. Memories. People he lost contact with. People he wasn't nice to. I promptly dumped the "get rid of" box in the "keep" box, and tried to gather more information. What I ended up learning is that it is better to mourn for the friends we lost, than to pretend we never cared we lost them in the first place. I could do myself some good becoming more like Conor. Thank you Conrad.