From the pants

A- Available or single?

Isn't that the same thing?

B- Best Friend?

I'm so lonesome, I could cryyyy.

C- Cake or Pie?

Pie. pie pie pie pie. I have birthday pie. I love pie.

D- Drink of Choice?

Iced decaf Venti vanilla no water americano. (Better known as the STD)

E- Essential Item?

I feel pressured to come up with some cute beauty tool. Unfortunately, I have to go with stain remover.

F- Favorite Color?


G- Gummi Bears or Worms?

SourPatch Kids if I must pick a jellied candy.

H- Hometown?

Somewhere in Illinois. Depends on my mood.

I- Indulgence?

Raw organic milk.

J- January or February?


K- Kids and names?

Violet Prudence, Finnegan Honor Dean

L- Life is incomplete without?

A dog. My life is currently incomplete.

M- Marriage Date?

April 10, 2004

N- Number of Siblings?


O- Oranges or apples?


P- Phobias/Fears?


Q- Favorite Quote?

Be gentle with the young. Juvenal -(55 AD - 127 AD)

R- Reason to Smile?

I got my period....15 days late.

S- Season?


T- Tag three people!

You three people who read my blog!

U- Unkown Fact About Me?

I couldn't burp until I got pregnant. Now I'm a champ.

V- Vegetable you hate?

I'm with the pants on this one. Eggplant is rubber masquerading as vegetable.

W- Worst habit?

"I'm fine" ...yeah. I'm that chick.

X- X-Rays you've had? More like what x-rays haven’t I had.

I guess its either x-rays or "do you play the xylophone?". I had a completely mortifying x-ray when I was a kid that I choose not to share with the world.

Y- Your favorite food?

Gnocci Pomadoro

Z- Zodiac?



rhetorical shmetorical

i had a fun little factoid that i tried to share with conor. so i say "you know how long it would take to hit the ground if you fell off the top of Mt. Everest?" he begins to mumble something about 1000 feet per second, and terminal velocity. then says "2 1/2 minutes." he's such a downer.


violet got a new potty. er... hat.


in the spirit of oncoming winter...


happy thanksgiving from half of the jensens

mom on camera. violet less than participatory.

liquid sculpture


conor sews on! UPDATED BRUISING!!

Apparantly, the tradition is that anyone who has held your new rank gets to sock you in your new stripes. Like they're helping tack it on.

here are the beginnings of the bruising...

and now...


the best laid plans...

I'm pretty adamant about teaching the children the correct names for their genitals. So last night in the bath, Violet points to the parts that Finn has that she doesn't. (As she is wont to do). I tell her "That is Finn's penis." We do the whole routine a few times until Violet points at it one more time and announces that it is a bumblebee.


Taking a cue from my husband...Installment #1

  1. I love butter more than a person should.
  2. I have very few memories of childhood.
  3. My brother and I were permanently playing a game called "Brother Nathan, Sister Sarah."
  4. I was in a "borderline religious cult."
  5. I cried over smoking, convinced I was suddenly a bad person.
  6. I have titles for all my ex-boyfriends.
  7. I spent from 19-21 as a completely false person.
  8. I am obsessed with nutrition.
  9. I never believe what I am told by doctors.
  10. I L O V E the Karate Kid movies.
  11. I hate being even a tiny bit drunk.
  12. Right now both of my big toenails are broken, but I don't know how.
  13. I hate porn, and if that makes me unhip it's fine with me.
  14. I entirely believe that male circumcision should be every bit as illegal as female.
  15. I'm always waiting for someone to start a fight with me when I nurse in public.
  16. I am completely over the moon for Finn and I feel guilty that I didn't want a boy.
  17. My dream is to live on a family commune and have a passel of kids.
  18. I'm really cheap.
  19. I've only really had 4 boyfriends as an adult. I've lost touch with one of them. Which is fine.
  20. I waffle on getting more tattoos on a daily basis.
  21. Marriage is incredibly hard, even when I'm the difficult one.
  22. I've decided I'd rather not have friends, than watch people hit their kids.
  23. I'm really enjoying the fact that Finn is WAY ahead of his milestones. I'm that mom now.
  24. That could come from the fact that Violet is so taciturn.
  25. I'd trade my double D's (when I'm not nursing) for a B in a heartbeat.

he fell off a rock


happy birthday

brand new



how to best humiliate my children this halloween?

And now, pug and tick...I've found the perfect costumes for you:


my little over achiever

Kudos to my dear Conor, the laziest over achiever I know. First it was a perfect ASVAB, then "Top Airman" at Basic. Now he just made "Below the Zone". Which is early promotion and more $$$. Ok, maybe just more $. The funniest part is, he was late to work for the first time ever, (he was helping me with babies), and a full bird Colonel was hanging around to give him his new stripes. I laughed. Perhaps, I thought, I should put up a picture of him in uniform. But alas, I don't have any. So this will have to do. Good job, Birdy!


how to tell you live with a toddler...

...you can only draw so much on the sidewalk

i keep my super powers in the belly

n is for nugget

there must have been something interesting on the ground.


For my friends back home:

TLC's "What Not to Wear" is accepting applicants in Chicago right now. Got anyone in mind you'd like to totally mortify on national television?


i'm getting WAY too into sidewalk chalk



Go to Google. Type in "miserable failure." Laugh.


Givers and Takers

To start off with a cliche: There are two kinds of people. There are those who hoard the little rye chips in Gardetto's, and there are those who give them away. I, for one, am a giver. But Gardetto's has now ruined this perfect balance of snack consumption by now selling just rye chips. I find this somehow sad. But I thought I would pass the information along for those rye chip lovers who find themselves hungry, but without a Gardetto eating friend.


my prize

so honestly, the night was pretty terrible and i don't look forward to doing this every other month. but i came down this morning to find this in my living room. so i'm chipper. on 4 hours of sleep or so.



conor starts nights again in... about an hour and 15 minutes. tonight is my first night alone with the babes. i have to do bathtime and bedtimes for both babies, nurse and change finn all night while shushing and changing violet when she needs it, and not toss anyone out the window. wish me luck. no. better yet, wish me sanity and a periodic infertility.

click clack moo

what could be better than a children's book about unionizing? my favorite line: "duck was a neutral party, so he brought the ultimatum to the cows." i highly recommend.



A Book Meme. Tagged by fugly pugly.

1. One Book That Changed Your Life:

I'm with fat little pug on this one. The books I fell in love with as a child shaped my love of not only reading, but books. The shape and feel, smell and sound of a book. It is why I can't do libraries. I need to own the book. I'll go with Anne of Green Gables, The Little House series, and Island of the Blue Dolphins.

2. One Book That You've Read More Than Once:

The Anne of Green Gables books. All 8 of them.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island:

Is this a desert island, or a deserted island? Because how much more unlucky could you get than to find yourself on a desert island. I feel like I should make some obvious choice of the complete idiot's guide to boat building, 101 coconut recipes, or divining for dummies

4. One Book That Made You Laugh:

Youth in Revolt by CD Payne. pugly probably remembers me reading this book and laughing like a lunatic. 14 year old boys are hysterical.

5. One Book That Made You Cry:

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. Bawled. I sounded like a Basset Hound.

6. One Book That You Wish Had Been Written:

You're all alone. Essays on being an expat in the south.

7. One Book That You Wish Had Never Been Written:

Babywise by Gary Ezzo. Come on people. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics has a warning against this book. Stop treating your children like showdogs.

8. The Book That You Are Currently Reading:

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Again.

9. One Book That You've Been Meaning to Read:

The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff

10. Your Favorite Guilty Pleasure Book(s): Do encyclopedias count? It ain't harlequin romance novels, but I get the same excitement out of them.

I tag Birdy (my voracious reader), and anyone else who would like to participate.


nanner nanner naaaaner


for grandmas and such...

photo blog for babies


there is something about this that makes 6 weeks seem like an eternity.


my art critic

we like to play naked

and make art

i made a portrait of violet in the buff.

she showed me what she thought of it.

naked baby....wet spot....use your imagination.


tee hee

reason # 6,833 why i love my husband

He came home with "good" toilet paper, because he figured now would be a good time to splurge on tp. What more could you ask for than a husband who considers the needs of your nether regions while grocery shopping?



Vital Stats

Nobody would bother to check my blog, since I never use it, so I'm checking in here for Sarah. Yesterday morning, July 16th at 4:16 am, Sarah delivered Finnegan Honor Jensen, a big ol' baby boy. He was 22" long and weighed 8 lb. 9.4 oz., and the crazy broad did it wihtout any drugs. He's doing great, he's a beautiful baby, looks a lot like his big sister did when she came out (although he's got my dad's nose). They're still at the hospital this morning, Violet and I are headed back out there soon, and if we're lucky, they might get to come home this afternoon.

I gotta run, sorry for the delayed and abbreviated post, but I'll give more details later, I promise. No pics or anything fun like that yet, but I'll have some when I get home later.


41 weeks...where's my prize?


jump in the pool

time to start the betting!

1) Gender
Please limit your choices to the two most likely outcomes....

2) Weight, Length, Birthmarks, Hair Color, Political Affiliation ...whatever suits your fancy

3) Birthdate
Anything in August just isn't funny, and frankly it's cruel, and in very poor taste to suggest. Same for September.

4) What crazy name will this poor child have to bear? (if you know, you can just make up something equally absurd)
i'm feeling a little birthy today. ho hum. we shall see.


Happy Due Date to Me,
Happy Due Date to Me.
I'm Gonna Split Open.
Happy Due Date to Me.

scroll down for the frightening exponential growth in the last 3 weeks.


always ahead of his time

"It is my pleasure that my children are free and happy, and unrestrained by parental tyranny. Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to its parents." - Abraham Lincoln



I haven't been posting my crafty creations. And I doubt I'll have time to be very crafty soon.

cloth wipes. nothin' like flannel to wipe your bum.

wrap sling. ok, required minimal sewing, but still.

violet's table. chalkboard top and fishy friends.

i dyed a wool soaker (diaper cover). the color is much deeper maroonish than this. it was, possibly, the most fun i've had all year. if i could make a living out of dyeing wool, my life would be complete. i made an acid dye out of kool-aid and vinegar. added bonus: the baby's butt will smell like black cherry for awhile.
I also sewed some sheets for Violet. Unfortunately (ok not REALLY unfortunately, but still...) Violet is asleep, and the picture will have to wait. I'll bet you're holding your breath.

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