happy birthday

brand new

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how to best humiliate my children this halloween?

And now, pug and tick...I've found the perfect costumes for you:

my little over achiever

Kudos to my dear Conor, the laziest over achiever I know. First it was a perfect ASVAB, then "Top Airman" at Basic. Now he just made "Below the Zone". Which is early promotion and more $$$. Ok, maybe just more $. The funniest part is, he was late to work for the first time ever, (he was helping me with babies), and a full bird Colonel was hanging around to give him his new stripes. I laughed. Perhaps, I thought, I should put up a picture of him in uniform. But alas, I don't have any. So this will have to do. Good job, Birdy!

how to tell you live with a toddler...

...you can only draw so much on the sidewalk

i keep my super powers in the belly

n is for nugget

there must have been something interesting on the ground.

For my friends back home:

TLC's "What Not to Wear" is accepting applicants in Chicago right now. Got anyone in mind you'd like to totally mortify on national television?

i'm getting WAY too into sidewalk chalk

Failure

Go to Google. Type in "miserable failure." Laugh.

Givers and Takers

To start off with a cliche: There are two kinds of people. There are those who hoard the little rye chips in Gardetto's, and there are those who give them away. I, for one, am a giver. But Gardetto's has now ruined this perfect balance of snack consumption by now selling just rye chips. I find this somehow sad. But I thought I would pass the information along for those rye chip lovers who find themselves hungry, but without a Gardetto eating friend.

my prize

so honestly, the night was pretty terrible and i don't look forward to doing this every other month. but i came down this morning to find this in my living room. so i'm chipper. on 4 hours of sleep or so.

eep.

conor starts nights again in... about an hour and 15 minutes. tonight is my first night alone with the babes. i have to do bathtime and bedtimes for both babies, nurse and change finn all night while shushing and changing violet when she needs it, and not toss anyone out the window. wish me luck. no. better yet, wish me sanity and a periodic infertility.

click clack moo

what could be better than a children's book about unionizing? my favorite line: "duck was a neutral party, so he brought the ultimatum to the cows." i highly recommend.

Books

A Book Meme. Tagged by fugly pugly.

1. One Book That Changed Your Life:

I'm with fat little pug on this one. The books I fell in love with as a child shaped my love of not only reading, but books. The shape and feel, smell and sound of a book. It is why I can't do libraries. I need to own the book. I'll go with Anne of Green Gables, The Little House series, and Island of the Blue Dolphins.

2. One Book That You've Read More Than Once:

The Anne of Green Gables books. All 8 of them.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island:

Is this a desert island, or a deserted island? Because how much more unlucky could you get than to find yourself on a desert island. I feel like I should make some obvious choice of the complete idiot's guide to boat building, 101 coconut recipes, or divining for dummies

4. One Book That Made You Laugh:

Youth in Revolt by CD Payne. pugly probably remembers me reading this book and laughing like a lunatic. 14 year old boys are hysterical.

5. One Book That Made You Cry:

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. Bawled. I sounded like a Basset Hound.

6. One Book That You Wish Had Been Written:

You're all alone. Essays on being an expat in the south.

7. One Book That You Wish Had Never Been Written:

Babywise by Gary Ezzo. Come on people. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics has a warning against this book. Stop treating your children like showdogs.

8. The Book That You Are Currently Reading:

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. Again.

9. One Book That You've Been Meaning to Read:

The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff

10. Your Favorite Guilty Pleasure Book(s): Do encyclopedias count? It ain't harlequin romance novels, but I get the same excitement out of them.

I tag Birdy (my voracious reader), and anyone else who would like to participate.

nanner nanner naaaaner

for grandmas and such...

photo blog for babies

there is something about this that makes 6 weeks seem like an eternity.

my art critic

we like to play naked

and make art

i made a portrait of violet in the buff.

she showed me what she thought of it.

naked baby....wet spot....use your imagination.

tee hee

reason # 6,833 why i love my husband

He came home with "good" toilet paper, because he figured now would be a good time to splurge on tp. What more could you ask for than a husband who considers the needs of your nether regions while grocery shopping?

finn

Vital Stats

Nobody would bother to check my blog, since I never use it, so I'm checking in here for Sarah. Yesterday morning, July 16th at 4:16 am, Sarah delivered Finnegan Honor Jensen, a big ol' baby boy. He was 22" long and weighed 8 lb. 9.4 oz., and the crazy broad did it wihtout any drugs. He's doing great, he's a beautiful baby, looks a lot like his big sister did when she came out (although he's got my dad's nose). They're still at the hospital this morning, Violet and I are headed back out there soon, and if we're lucky, they might get to come home this afternoon.

I gotta run, sorry for the delayed and abbreviated post, but I'll give more details later, I promise. No pics or anything fun like that yet, but I'll have some when I get home later.

41 weeks...where's my prize?

jump in the pool

time to start the betting!

1) Gender
Please limit your choices to the two most likely outcomes....

2) Weight, Length, Birthmarks, Hair Color, Political Affiliation ...whatever suits your fancy

3) Birthdate
Anything in August just isn't funny, and frankly it's cruel, and in very poor taste to suggest. Same for September.

4) What crazy name will this poor child have to bear? (if you know, you can just make up something equally absurd)

i'm feeling a little birthy today. ho hum. we shall see.

Happy Due Date to Me,
Happy Due Date to Me.
I'm Gonna Split Open.
Happy Due Date to Me.

scroll down for the frightening exponential growth in the last 3 weeks.

always ahead of his time

"It is my pleasure that my children are free and happy, and unrestrained by parental tyranny. Love is the chain whereby to bind a child to its parents." - Abraham Lincoln

crafty

I haven't been posting my crafty creations. And I doubt I'll have time to be very crafty soon.

cloth wipes. nothin' like flannel to wipe your bum.

wrap sling. ok, required minimal sewing, but still.

violet's table. chalkboard top and fishy friends.

i dyed a wool soaker (diaper cover). the color is much deeper maroonish than this. it was, possibly, the most fun i've had all year. if i could make a living out of dyeing wool, my life would be complete. i made an acid dye out of kool-aid and vinegar. added bonus: the baby's butt will smell like black cherry for awhile.

I also sewed some sheets for Violet. Unfortunately (ok not REALLY unfortunately, but still...) Violet is asleep, and the picture will have to wait. I'll bet you're holding your breath.

Happy 25th, Birdy

don't look directly at it....

you know you want to see it.

it's hypnotizing......

it's like a train wreck......

you want to look away, but you can't.......

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunar, Schmoonar

As the day draws nigh, I again turn to the Chinese Lunar Calendar for guidance. Too bad it was wrong last time. Did this thing work for anyone? You have to be careful which ones you use, because some of them don't convert your age to your lunar age, which throws the whole thing off. Since I don't like to do math and stuff, I used this one. Apparantly, V should be a boy. And so should this one. So we shall see. I enjoy the old wives tales gender prediction though. My summary is as follows:

You have a 45% chance of having a boy. And you have a 54% chance of having a girl.

...THANKS! that's so clear, and not at all close to my chances regardless of this test.

And Here's Why...
You are carrying the extra weight out front, so it's a boy. (point of order...my weight doesn't have anywhere to go but out. I'm frigging short.)

The hair on your legs is not growing any faster during your pregnancy, so it's a girl.
(Actually it has slowed dramatically, but that wasn't a choice. Less body hair would be a great result of this pregnancy. Though it might not make up for stretch marks and the floppy belly pouch thingy. I'm not a marsupial here.)

Boys are carried low. You are going to have a boy. (same problem as the first one. My entire body is baby. I sort of look like Mike from Monsters Inc. Just a round ball with some stubby apendages.)

Your feet are not colder than they were before pregnancy. You are having a girl. (I have frigid feet. I don't know that they COULD get any colder.)

You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread. You are having a girl. (I've always refused to eat the heel, but ok.)

Dad-to-be is gaining weight right along with Mom-to-be, which means that you'll have a boy. (Only now he's losing weight. Dangit Conor, throwing off my gender predicter.)

The maternal grandmother doesn't have gray hair (dyed or natural), so a girl will be born. (I haven't seen my mom in awhile, but this is my best guess.)

You didn't have morning sickness early in pregnancy, so it will be a boy. (I got sick like twice, so I'm going with no morning sickness.)

You are not looking particularly good during pregnancy. Therefore, it must be a girl, because girls steal their mother's looks. (So true. I look like cold death.)

Your chest development has not been very dramatic during pregnancy. You should expect a boy. (As Conor says, how much bigger could they get really?)

Since the sum of the mother's age at conception and the number of the month of conception is even, it will be a boy. (26 plus October. Okey doke.)

A needle on a thread held over your belly moves in circles, so you will have a boy. (WITCHCRAFT!)

Your urine is a dull yellow color, so you will have a girl. (Okay, this one is impossible. If you take a prenatal vitamin, it's gonna look like you swallowed a highlighter. But I went with dull.)

You are craving sweets, which means that it is a girl. (It started with Violet and never stopped. It's a sickness.)

Your nose hasn't changed during pregnancy, which indicates a girl. (My nose? I don't really keep tabs on it. I assume it hasn't changed.)

You have been craving meats or cheeses, so it is a boy. (Well I can't argue with that. Never did I want a burger (or 3) like I did early in this pregnancy.)

Your baby's heart rate is 140 or more beats per minute, so it's a girl. (Like a hummingbird in there.)

You must have orange juice every day, so it's a girl. (Not only must I have it everyday. But it must be available for me to drink in the middle of the night. It was the same way with Violet.)

You are not having headaches, so it's a girl. (No, that comes after the birth.)

Your belly looks like a watermelon, so it's a girl. (...or 2.)

You show the back of your hand, so it's a boy. (The question was if someone asked me to show my hands, would I show them palm up or palm down. The problem is that you start thinking about it and overanalyzing it. I'm not sure if it was an authentic response.)

You use the handle, so it's a boy. (....if I pick up a mug. Who picks up a mug by the body? What if it's hot? That's just crazy talk.)