23.4.08

Oh, those midnight ramblings

Can't go having my weird virginity rant at the top anymore. People thinks I'm cray zay. I tried to go to a class tonight (on Waldorf education) but, alas, the gnomes (which I'm told they believe in) must have run off with the school, cause I couldn't find it anywhere. So instead I hung out with Jenny, eatin' soup, watchin' the Idol. Which I have nothing to say about that hasn't been said.

I've been thinking about Mommy blogging a bit. And whether or not it's exploitative when it gets to a certain level. I've kept most of the nitty-gritty of my day-to-day parenting to myself. I have a hard time putting stuff out there. I used to crave conflict. I thrived on it. Now, it seems I've mellowed in my old age. When I started the new blog (Poopsy-woo), I deliberately used a different blogger profile. I just didn't want to open my personal blogs up to the world to that degree. It is the reason I've hesitated about joining any mommy blogging consortiums, or blogging in a truly public arena.

My parenting philosophy (...can you picture our grandmothers using that term???) is so far afield of the mainstream. Like really really afield...off in the ditch...across the street from the field. When you say something, take "we don't punish" and put it out there, you get 2 general reactions. 1) The "if you don't punish, and I put my kid in time out, you think I'm a bad evil mommy with glowing cat eyes and Medusa hair" or 2) "Your kids are going to grow up to be the scourge of the planet, and my kids will pay the taxes to keep them incarcerated."

I have some pretty strong opinions about what is right and what is wrong to do to another human being. It just happens that I apply those beliefs to all human beings, including children. But, I also believe pretty strongly that kids are resilient. Kids who were spanked grow up to be perfectly respectable human beings (...though occasionally a little kinky in the bedroom). Kids who were allowed to run rampant like feral pigs, had kool-aid in their bottles, and cried themselves to sleep also often grow up to be contributing members of the human race. The reason I do things the way I do has very little to do with "how they'll turn out". I think loved and cherished kids, for the most part, turn out fine. It has much more to do with how they feel now. Do they feel respected? Do they feel that what they think is important? I care about those things NOW. It doesn't mean I'll ever let my kids believe that I think it's alright to hit someone small and defenseless, no matter how society may dictate I react to someone spanking a child. I reserve the right to react with all the fury of hell, lest my children sense I am complacent about the bullying of the weaker. It doesn't mean I'll pump their bodies full of Red Dye 44 and aspartame either.

I'm relatively comfortable saying those things here. Cause nobody reads it! Except Pants. I love Pants. But I spend my day biting my tongue. Cause those kids, they'll push you to the brink, God love 'em. I just can't spend what little time I have trying to be diplomatic with a bunch of crazy women. The comments on some of these blogs are unreal. Women like big cats pouncing on another mother. Then come the hyenas, circling for the last shreds of dignity some poor woman has left. And after everyone has corrected each others' grammar and apostrophe placement, they all go home. And there lays the carcass. Or lies? There lies the carcass? Oh well. Guess I don't deserve to live, have an opinion, or post a blog...since I'm not sure.

The sad thing is, none of this happens to me. I just stay out of the fray. Cause I'm chicken. Or maybe I'm smart. My children aren't my property to do with as I please. I hesitate to use them in a public capacity. I'm also tired of overthinking things. Come to think of it, I'm just tired. So no conclusion for you! I'm going to bed.

8 rubber neckers:

Anonymous said...

hey, I read it!!!

I had such a hard time finding a "play group" where I didn't feel like the absolute odd ball...so I gave up. I think a lot of moms just do what they think is right....without ever questioning it. I would have NEVER questioned spanking if it wasn't for you a long, long, time ago before hayden was born (thankfully for her!!!) on your spy amongst us blog. It was just something I was raised with, and I turned out pretty great....(although a little damaged...)

anyway, more power to you. I completely admire you for being able to go against the flow and not give a damn what people think.

Sarah said...

Geez, this post was supposed to be about the exploitative nature of mommy blogging. Someone stop me when I start writing at 1130. That's like 3 am in Sarah time.

Sarah said...

And I wish I could say that I don't care what anyone thinks. But if that were true, it seems I wouldn't be as hesitant to share what I think in other forums. But I don't. I clam up most of the time. I get almost ill over these online bitch slap fests. It affects my day. I can't just brush it off and move on.

Norma Shineynickels said...

hellooooooooooooo...

i read your blog! jerk.

we talked about this last night, sort of, and i agree with you. although, the gnome this is a little frooty. cuz they suck is why.

Ubermilf said...

I don't spank, or "punish." I like to think I teach. which means, they bear the fruits of their behaviors. good or ill.

Can't find something because you didn't put it away? Well, that's a sad story... no, I will NOT help you find it. I guess you understand why you need to put things back where they belong now...

Also, I never read your blog.

Sarah said...

Ok all you offended people! I consider you my little blogging community. And I don't invite other people here. So I love you all and want to squeeze you to pieces, every last one of you. Mwah.

Uberlicious - I think that natural consequences are how people learn. I'm totally with you on that. Though from time to time, I've tried to figure out how it could be a natural consequence for me to smack someone upside the head for their insolence!

LoryKC said...

I do read your blog...I'm just way behind! Rest assured, I will stop by and read--it'll just be after you have moved on to something more current!

(I stay out of the fray, too though it's usually because the battles are over by the time I show up!) ;)

Mandie said...

Somehow, I've been lucky and found a great group of blog-mommies who usually react to whatever you say with "been there done that" or "do what works for you". Anyway, I hear you. The world at large thinks we're freaks. And hey, they're probably right.

 

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