30.4.08

A little guilt goes a long way.

It seems that every blog I read lately is decrying the bondage of "mommy-guilt". Mommies everywhere, championing the cause to rise above the guilt and....do what exactly? I've found guilt to be a powerfully motivating factor. I'm not talking about beating yourself up about things over which you have no control. But geez louise, sometimes a person should feel guilty. Not all choices are equal, damn it. It reminds me of the people who resort to "well, that's just the way I am" as an excuse. The way you are? A stark-raving lunatic bent on alienating everyone around you? Well if that's "the way you are" then that makes it hunky dory. You should feel guilty if you're making poor choices, not putting the needs of your children ahead of your own. Yes, I said it. Ahead. Not the ever so popular advice to take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow. If taking care of yourself is a shower and some breakfast before your kids get their hair brushed, then by all means. If taking care of yourself is watching Maury while the kids eat glue, then no (for the literal among us...that was hyperbole). Like I said, not all choices are equal. I am not recommending that women just completely forget themselves and devote all time and energy to their children. That just annoys the kids. There obviously has to be a balance. But for heaven's sake, when did it become ok for mothers (and fathers..) to put their needs ahead of the kids'?

2 rubber neckers:

Melliferous Pants said...

I HATE it when people fall back on "that's just the way I am" to cover their shitty behavior.

Ɯbermilf said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I'm the kind of mom who needs reminding to take care of my needs, because I will forget to take my vitamins and eat properly when under stress trying to get the girls to school in the morning.

I do not think you need to get yourself a manicure instead of helping your kid with his/her homework or something.

I think you know what I mean without me having to expound on it.

Life changes after kids. Put on your grown-up pants and deal with it. Love means sacrifice.

 

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