29.6.07

This post is about alternative forms of sex

Thought I'd throw that warning out there.

I was involved in a discussion about the "True Love Waits" sort of pledge for chastity. 4 peer reviewed studies have found these bizarre ceremonies where Daddy pledges his protection of his daughter's "purity" to be essentially totally ineffective. It did, however, find high instances of anal sex in pledgers. I was stunned by this, as I was under the impression that the Bible forbade anal sex. Apparantly not. Although arguable by those who believe that sex should be for procreation. Nonetheless, I found a website that had THIS to say:

This is a good question: If you’re going to have sexual contact before marriage, why not just go the whole nine yards and have regular sex? There are many good reasons for having anal sex instead. The first reason is practical: having conventional vaginal intercourse can lead to unwanted pregnancies. While it’s true that the Lord bade us to “be fruitful and multiply,” (Gen 1:22) the Bible also counsels that “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecl. 3:1) Pregnancy outside of wedlock can have dire and life-altering consequences for all those involved. Having anal sex allows you to greatly reduce this risk.
Second, for a young woman who has never engaged in sexual intercourse, having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity (i.e., maintain an intact hymen) until marriage. There is no greater gift that a bride can give than to offer her pure, unsullied maidenhead to her husband on their wedding night.
Finally, anal sex allows both partners to save the most intimate and powerful sexual act, that of face-to-face vaginal intercourse, for their mates in marriage. This type of sexual relationship represents the most powerful union between a man and a woman, and so it rightfully should be reserved for one’s life partner. Fortunately, you can engage in anal sex prior to marriage and still be able to share the deeper, more meaningful act of consecrated love through vaginal intercourse with your wedded spouse

WHA? That is possibly the most bizarre thing I've read. This week anyway. I didn't link to it, because I really don't want them visiting me. If you're interested in the website, it is called "Sex in Christ".

Now. Let us discuss this purity nonsense. I respect a young woman's decision to wait to have sex until she is married, ready, 17 and three quarters, whatever. In other words, I respect her decision. What I do not respect is this notion that virginity is some prize that belongs to Daddy, and then to a husband. A virgin is no more "pure" than a non-virgin. What would that make her? Sullied, dirty, sinful? I realize the patriarchal religious roots. I do. I'm not addressing those. I'm addressing logical thougtful reasoning. I think if we can get away from seeing virginity as some sort of prize, it will go a long way toward viewing women as whole beings, rather than by the status of their hymen.

I'm sick of the idea that sex between myself and my husband is somehow lesser because we'd both had previous sexual partners. I remember this skit I did in church once. I had a paper heart and I slowly tore pieces off and gave them to different boys. Then when my "husband" came along, I only had a tiny little piece to give him. I have found that to be slightly misleading in reality. As I did not have a tiny remaning fraction of myself to give to him. I had a whole person. Me. With all my experiences that made me the person he loved.

Well when it comes to YOUR daughter, you'll think differently. Yes, I can hear your thoughts. Something else I'm sick of: The idea that teenaged girls are somehow pressured into sex as if they aren't sexual beings. They aren't someone's future wife, they are THEM. Making their own decisions. Nothing good will come of further demonizing sex, with the implication that for a woman, it makes her less than she was. That social construct will do nothing but perpetuate the idea that a woman's body belongs to someone other than HER. How 'bout I empower my kids to make informed decisions that are best for them and their partner.

Excuse my rant. It had nothing to do with any of you.

8 rubber neckers:

Ann said...

I cannot believe that people actually think it's a good idea to have anal sex in order to remain a virgin!!!!!!!

Ann said...

ok, I just read the part about three somes in a marriage and that is OBVIOUSLY written by a man because a couple is ok as long as there are 2 girls, and a husband!!!!!!!!!! and as long as the women let the man me dominate!!!! that is MESSED UP!!

sweetviolet said...

HA! I thought the same thing. I love how lesbianism can bring a couple closer together, but NEVER TOUCH A MAN! ever. ever ever ever.

Amy said...

ok, right now, i'm seeing lines across the screen because i'm reading this at night and it's a black screen with tiny blue type. SHEESH. :)

anyway, i know it's just your opinion on the subject but i thought it was very well stated. the anal sex thing is totally wack...sounds cultish or something.

great read...different from all of the other mumbo-jumbo i've been reading lately.

Amy said...

ps: do ya'll want to sit at calvary church on sunday night and watch their fireworks? give me a holla.

fat little pug said...

This isn't going to be a very eloquent comment, but WTF?!?!?!

conor said...

That was definitely some strange stuff. I totally agree that the fact that we weren't virgins has not made our marriage and love for each other any less special.

Melliferous Pants said...

What a bunch of anal-sex-having dummies.

 

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