secret ingredient

There is a new miracle face cream. It has been featured on Oprah and EXTRA! as the solution to all your wrinkle woes. The patented TNS recovery complex runs about $130 a bottle. This is what the makers have to say about it:

As seen on the television show EXTRA! This is Bo Derek's secret fountain of youth for staying a perfect 10 at 50. Derek said she doesn't work out or diet, but uses Skin Medica's TNS recovery complex to stay a perfect 10 on the December 17 Episode of EXTRA.
Introducing the revolutionary tissue-repairing complex, Tissue Nutrient Solution (TNS) Recovery Complex with physician strength NouriCel-MD(tm) containing growth factors found in normal, healthy skin.
TNS Recovery Complex is an enriched nutrient solution bi-product of a patented tissue engineering process for growing human skin from dermal fibroblast cells. SkinMedica TNS Recovery Complex is professionally formulated with the highest concentration of human growth factors available in the market, as well as soluble collagens, matrix proteins and antioxidants.
The active ingredient in TNS Recovery Complex, NouriCel-MD(tm), is a special nutrient solution that supplements the skin's natural ingredients and produces a nutrient-rich environment where skin can develop a healthier appearance.

What are these amazing dermal fibroblast cells?

Glad you asked.

TNS is made from baby foreskins.

I'm on a "i'm a bad mommy" kick. Violet is now asking to watch movies all the time, which makes my skin crawl. Essentially because I want TV to be a very minor part of her life. Especially this little. And its my fault. She isn't getting the stimulation she needs, and she's gonna get it from TV. She's sleeping pretty poorly because we keep handing a cold around, which doesn't help my mental attitude. Did I mention I live in the STICKS? If I want to do ANYTHING I have to drive to Columbia. I haven't been doing her reading, her bits (kind of like flashcards), her math. Nothin. And she's bored stiff and is letting me know. The fact that I can't get rid of her eczema is making me bonkers. I'm going to do a hardcore elimination diet and hope it isn't the raw goat milk, since my pregnant body can not produce enough milk to sustain a toddler without some supplementation. And I'm not giving her phytoestrogen hell soy milk. Sigh. So I'll probably eliminate gluten and see how that goes. I need to be around other mothers with similar mindsets. Needless to say, the military is not rife with sling wearing, no vaxing, extended breastfeeding, liberal mothers. Someone at playgroup was talking to me about bottles. I didn't exactly know what to add to the conversation, so I responded with "I don't really know, she never had bottles." They looked at me like I grew a third head. They honestly had no idea how I fed her. I certainly don't have a problem with bottles, we just never used them. I feel like a frigging martian. Ok. I'm done.

Black and White Twins

These little girls were born to these parents,

each with a black and white parent themselves.

Utero baby butt

My "happy wifey" present

Slap me in a housedress and call me "June". I'm so thrilled I just may bake a pie.

museum

yes indeed! i braved the giant shoe for a picture.

for the locals, violet forcasts hurricanes for columbia. take cover.

my new best friend

oh yeah. we're walking.

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honda odyssey

i found the PERFECT reason to justify the minivan:

Baby stinky?

Forget the bath! Douse them in chemicals!

Johnson's Baby Cologne

(From the website. Bold not mine)

How to Use:
Pour a small amount in the palm of your hand and gently apply to your baby's skin.
When to Use:Anytime you want to give your baby this clean and fresh smelling scent!
Safety Warning: Keep out of reach of children. Do not use without consulting a doctor if child has asthma or allergies or a family history of either. Serious breathing problems could occur. Keep in a cool place protected from direct sunlight.
Ingredients: Water, Polysorbate 20, Trideceth-9, PEG-40 Hydrogenated Castor Oil, Fragrance, Sodium Benzoate, Phenoxyethanol, Citric Acid, Propylene Glycol, Tetrasodium EDTA, Simethicone, Ext. Violet 2, Blue 1

we're not worthy

I was definitely not raised with the "doctors are god" mindset. In my house, nutrition was god, and well, God was god. I refused the well-baby visits with Violet (we had 2 maybe). I essentially want to avoid the fear-mongering of doctors when they discover we don't vaccinate. The old "well I've seen..." My family is rife with auto-immune diseases, and when I extrapolate the links between vaccines and auto-immune diseases they want to know "where I heard that." I try not to be offended at the implication that I read an article in People about thimerosol, and now I'm just convinced that vaccines are bad. In fact I have put countless hours of research into every vaccine that she would get, compared it with the risk of the actual disease and the likelihood of contracting it, and the dangers and documented reactions to those vaccines (which are vastly underreported and are constantly deemed "not vaccine related.") In fact, I'm in an online vaccine study group now, rehashing the whole thing to be as informed as I can be. I am fully confident that I can treat most childhood illnesses at home. Yes measles (everyone used to get it), chicken pox, mumps, fevers, flus, colds. I can diagnose strep, viral infections, etc etc etc. All it takes is a little research. I am also confident that I can determine when medical intervention is necessary. I diagnosed my baby with a viral rash. The disease was progressing as chicken pox would, but since I know that even doctors have a hard time diagnosing chicken pox until the third day, I wanted to simply wait. I certainly didn't know if it was or wasn't at that point, and there wasn't anything to do whether she had it or not. Other than vitamin A and vitamin C for everyone involved. If she did have it, I would have already been exposed. I dutifully called my obstetrician's office and told them I had potentially been exposed to varicella. When met with a "what?" I proceeded to explain that varicella was chicken pox, and that I was potentially not immune. They then demanded I take her to the doctor. Why, I asked. I can treat chicken pox at home. They insisted I needed a diagnosis. Sigh. So I called the doctor to make an appointment for Violet, explaining that I wasn't concerned about chicken pox, just the risk of congenital varicella syndrome. The nurse assured me that if I was out of my first trimester, there was no risk. I explained that all the literature on CVS said the risk was through the first HALF of pregnancy. Or 20 weeks. "Oh." They then asked me if the spots were crusty. "No." "Well then it probably isn't chicken pox." I then proceeded to explain the progression of chicken pox. Fever, 3-4 days, superficial spots, 24 hours, crusties and more spots, blah blah blah. By this morning, I was positive that it wasn't chicken pox, and we just had some kind of generic viral rash. To the doctor we go, purely because I didn't want to get yelled at at my next OB appointment. Diagnosis? Viral rash. Yeah. Thanks. So all this nonsense so I can return to the OB with the diagnosis of "viral rash."

current fascination...

if shoes (mine, yours, hers) are in the vicinity, they MUST be worn.

if only she knew what was in the mail....

It seems that Violet may be developing chicken pox. She had a fever about 3 days ago, and now has small superficial red dots in her hairline, on her face and neck, and in her diaper area. We'll be keeping a close eye on them to see if they're progressing as chicken pox would. Any good thoughts sent our way would be appreciated, as I've never had chicken pox. The risk for a fetus if a pregnant woman contracts varicella is very real, though congenital varicella syndrome is rare. I'll be contacting my doctor to try to get my titers drawn to determine if I carry immunity (a real possibility).