prudence & honor

Storm

2009-04-04T13:05:00.001-05:00

Oh my, the tears of hilarity....

Prop 8 - The Musical

2008-12-03T13:36:00.000-05:00

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A Virtuous Woman

2008-11-25T08:30:00.003-05:00

And here I was, thinking it was pretty ironic that I (admitted heathen) have a tattoo of "virtue". Looks like the definition is getting looser:

The Virtuous Woman: Or Evil Horrid Wretched Sorry Excuse for a Human Being, Much Less a Mother

Bob Jones

2008-11-22T19:56:00.002-05:00

Bob Jones University has joined the ~~21st~~ 20th century!

CHECK IT!

Count the smirks and head tosses

2008-10-26T08:49:00.001-05:00

We could analyze the implications of this video. We could. Instead, let's just make fun of the bigots. Wheeee!

Fascism

2008-10-13T17:42:00.003-05:00

I lack time for original content, since I work so much on Poopsy-woo. Feel free to ignore me, as I'm pretty much posting things that I find interesting.

Fourteen Defining
Characteristics Of Fascism
By Dr. Lawrence Britt
Source Free Inquiry.co
5-28-3

Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread
domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

2008-10-12T13:59:00.003-05:00

Someone please help me. My dorkdom is reaching epic proportions.

Your results:
You are Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)

Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command)		80%
Malcolm Reynolds (Captain)		75%
Wash (Ship Pilot)		60%
Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic)		55%
Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic)		45%
Inara Serra (Companion)		30%
Jayne Cobb (Mercenary)		30%
River (Stowaway)		30%
Derrial Book (Shepherd)		25%
A Reaver (Cannibal)		15%
Alliance		5%

Dependable and trustworthy.
You love your significant other and
you are a tough cookie when in a conflict.

Click here to take the Serenity Personality Quiz

Highlight of my life

2008-10-05T11:41:00.001-05:00

Hello poor sad neglected blog. I figured the non Poopsy-woo readers would also enjoy my interview with Cookie Monster. So here you go:

dude.

2008-09-14T13:07:00.002-05:00

Oh the plans we made! I was to go to a craft fair. Which means I was going to leave the house and have real live adult conversation. Conor was to be frolicking at the zoo with the kids. We woke to some seriously feverish and snottified children. And a downpour. A record downpour in fact. The most rain in 24 hours ever recorded at O'Hare. Well no zoo, but I was considering continuing with the craft fair nonetheless. Then I sent Violet downstairs to let Shepherd out of his crate. MAMAAAAA! I have to clean it up! It's all wet! Alas, the downstairs was awash in whatever happened to be in the pipes when they regurgitated their rainy sludge. And so our plans vanished. Conor and I spent the day with the shop-vac while Granny and Poppi kindly entertained the sick children. And off they were to pick up lunch at Paradise Pup...(you haven't LIVED until you've had Paradise Pup.) Through the rain we slogged the children, securing them in their carseats and sending them off with the in-laws. And the van was dead. So, as if we weren't wet enough... We spent a little quality time jumping the van. You know, we've REALLY got to start checking the lights after the kids play "Beep beep car". So today I persevere! I'm off to Renegade Chicago rain or shine! Well, pretty much rain.

2008-09-12T00:26:00.002-05:00

Trivia buff seeks same for online fun

I like being in first place and all...but it's no fun if you're only beating yourself. "Beating yourself" is going to get me some really twisted google search results in my stats....

2008-09-08T15:02:00.001-05:00

more the engrish!

Where's my donation?

Twisted Doodles (sounds like a snack)

2008-08-26T14:23:00.002-05:00

...and one month later, we have internet access! I'll spare you the story that lead to my doodling what happens to a stick figure on a guillotine while envisioning impaling an AT&T representative on a telephone pole.

2008-07-26T08:32:00.002-05:00

If you asked my sister Wendy if she thought I was weird, she'd say, "Yeah." But thats bullshit 'cause she's weird, cause she like has a family and a family picture on their VCR where they're all looking slightly to the left. Like something over there happened, and made everybody happy. ~ Mitch Hedburg

2008-07-19T17:22:00.001-05:00

I am seriously all about your right to free assembly. I am not, however, all about trying to keep my children from looking out the window while driving down a public street for fear of them seeing poster sized photos of severed fetal heads. Wrap it up and go home Right to Life. We all know what a fetus looks like.

Cruel cruel world.

2008-07-18T08:25:00.004-05:00

The gods conspired against me to send me the tiniest "new baby" sample diaper in the mail the very day my baby turned 2. Coincidence, pamper people? I think not. Damn you and your direct mail marketing campaign. Sending tiny tushie sized diapers to those of us mourning the growth of our babies. Shame.

And yes, that soft squishy belly is available for raspberries. No appointment neccessary.

*Update at Flower and Finn

Pants, was this on your voicemail?

2008-07-01T20:16:00.004-05:00

http://view.break.com/527579 - Watch more free videos

I especially like the way he says "ass yume".

2008-06-09T18:53:00.001-05:00

John McCain's character.

Being a war hero does nothing for me. Taking care of and loving your invalid wife would be better.

2008-06-05T20:01:00.001-05:00

Anyone care to retrieve my sanity from the gutter?

2008-06-03T21:07:00.000-05:00

I just got an empty fortune cookie. What does that mean?

photo: jenster181

Panties for Peace (don't blame me for using the p-word..that's what it's called)

2008-06-03T18:54:00.000-05:00

Now here's a campaign I can get behind.

heh. behind. heh heh.

2008-05-21T22:45:00.004-05:00

my conor left for hawaii today.
somebody come visit me. 2 weeks is too long.

Meme-o-licious

2008-05-20T19:51:00.003-05:00

Your Fake Band Meme:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Rand om

-First article = Band name

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3

-Last 4 words of the last quote = your album title

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

-Third picture = album cover

4. Take picture, add band name and album title, post....voila!

I love mine! And I discovered Arp 299, which would have tragically eluded me my whole life, had it not been for this meme.

2008-05-19T09:48:00.002-05:00

2008-05-11T09:21:00.001-05:00

You totally get the shaft when your birthday is one day, and Mother's Day is the next. I've had my last birthday. I'm 29. twenty-nine. tweeeeenty-niiiiiiiine. In the thick of my Saturn return.

Brief conversations with Violet

2008-05-08T19:26:00.003-05:00

Conor: (standing outside the bathroom out of view) *BURP*

Violet: Where is mama?

Conor: She's downstairs

Violet: I hear her.

Fin

2008-05-07T14:48:00.002-05:00

Conor got this text message in the middle of the night. We're not sure who it's from. But Conor read it to me, and then said "Fin, sexy? What is fin sexy?" F-ing sexy, Conor. "Oh."

So if you're going to send Conor sexy texts, be sure and spell it all out for him.

SLC

2008-05-06T19:12:00.002-05:00

I've been recently overcome with the desire to move to a cabin in the woods and raise my barefoot brood.

A few notes about real estate in Utah.

1) 3 bedrooms must not be much in demand, as it seems 4-7 (yes 7) bedrooms are more the norm.

2) Lots of pencils or pastels of Jesus on the walls

3) Next to Jesus, lots of dead animals on the walls as well.

So, what's the appeal to me? Could someone enlighten me, cause I really have no idea.

overheard in the kitchen

2008-05-04T14:59:00.001-05:00

Violet: "You drinkin' all the beer, daddy?"

Conor: "Yes."

Violet: "The delicious beeeeeer."

A little guilt goes a long way.

2008-04-30T15:58:00.002-05:00

It seems that every blog I read lately is decrying the bondage of "mommy-guilt". Mommies everywhere, championing the cause to rise above the guilt and....do what exactly? I've found guilt to be a powerfully motivating factor. I'm not talking about beating yourself up about things over which you have no control. But geez louise, sometimes a person should feel guilty. Not all choices are equal, damn it. It reminds me of the people who resort to "well, that's just the way I am" as an excuse. The way you are? A stark-raving lunatic bent on alienating everyone around you? Well if that's "the way you are" then that makes it hunky dory. You should feel guilty if you're making poor choices, not putting the needs of your children ahead of your own. Yes, I said it. Ahead. Not the ever so popular advice to take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow. If taking care of yourself is a shower and some breakfast before your kids get their hair brushed, then by all means. If taking care of yourself is watching Maury while the kids eat glue, then no (for the literal among us...that was hyperbole). Like I said, not all choices are equal. I am not recommending that women just completely forget themselves and devote all time and energy to their children. That just annoys the kids. There obviously has to be a balance. But for heaven's sake, when did it become ok for mothers (and fathers..) to put their needs ahead of the kids'?

Can you help me?

2008-04-26T11:15:00.003-05:00

I watched 20/20 last night. It was one of those hidden camera "what would you do in this situation" ones. They used an actor to portray a lost child. In 3 different scenarios, he/she stood quietly alone, cried, and asked for help. Out of 1700 people who passed by, only 40-something stopped to help. I said to myself "I'll bet kids noticed". Sure enough, the kids who saw the lost child made their parents stop to help. I, of course, cried. I've always agreed with the advice to tell your kids to ask a woman for help, preferably one with kids, if they're lost. Looking for a policeman could take forever, not to mention depending on age, kids can't tell a policeman from a security guard, from a bus driver. Power to the kids, it's adults who are the scourge of the planet. Although, standing above the rest was this European woman who chased down John Quinones when he tried to walk away with the boy. She was about to tackle him. Restoring a sliver of faith in people.

Oh, those midnight ramblings

2008-04-23T22:56:00.003-05:00

Can't go having my weird virginity rant at the top anymore. People thinks I'm cray zay. I tried to go to a class tonight (on Waldorf education) but, alas, the gnomes (which I'm told they believe in) must have run off with the school, cause I couldn't find it anywhere. So instead I hung out with Jenny, eatin' soup, watchin' the Idol. Which I have nothing to say about that hasn't been said.

I've been thinking about Mommy blogging a bit. And whether or not it's exploitative when it gets to a certain level. I've kept most of the nitty-gritty of my day-to-day parenting to myself. I have a hard time putting stuff out there. I used to crave conflict. I thrived on it. Now, it seems I've mellowed in my old age. When I started the new blog (Poopsy-woo), I deliberately used a different blogger profile. I just didn't want to open my personal blogs up to the world to that degree. It is the reason I've hesitated about joining any mommy blogging consortiums, or blogging in a truly public arena.

My parenting philosophy (...can you picture our grandmothers using that term???) is so far afield of the mainstream. Like really really afield...off in the ditch...across the street from the field. When you say something, take "we don't punish" and put it out there, you get 2 general reactions. 1) The "if you don't punish, and I put my kid in time out, you think I'm a bad evil mommy with glowing cat eyes and Medusa hair" or 2) "Your kids are going to grow up to be the scourge of the planet, and my kids will pay the taxes to keep them incarcerated."

I have some pretty strong opinions about what is right and what is wrong to do to another human being. It just happens that I apply those beliefs to all human beings, including children. But, I also believe pretty strongly that kids are resilient. Kids who were spanked grow up to be perfectly respectable human beings (...though occasionally a little kinky in the bedroom). Kids who were allowed to run rampant like feral pigs, had kool-aid in their bottles, and cried themselves to sleep also often grow up to be contributing members of the human race. The reason I do things the way I do has very little to do with "how they'll turn out". I think loved and cherished kids, for the most part, turn out fine. It has much more to do with how they feel now. Do they feel respected? Do they feel that what they think is important? I care about those things NOW. It doesn't mean I'll ever let my kids believe that I think it's alright to hit someone small and defenseless, no matter how society may dictate I react to someone spanking a child. I reserve the right to react with all the fury of hell, lest my children sense I am complacent about the bullying of the weaker. It doesn't mean I'll pump their bodies full of Red Dye 44 and aspartame either.

I'm relatively comfortable saying those things here. Cause nobody reads it! Except Pants. I love Pants. But I spend my day biting my tongue. Cause those kids, they'll push you to the brink, God love 'em. I just can't spend what little time I have trying to be diplomatic with a bunch of crazy women. The comments on some of these blogs are unreal. Women like big cats pouncing on another mother. Then come the hyenas, circling for the last shreds of dignity some poor woman has left. And after everyone has corrected each others' grammar and apostrophe placement, they all go home. And there lays the carcass. Or lies? There lies the carcass? Oh well. Guess I don't deserve to live, have an opinion, or post a blog...since I'm not sure.

The sad thing is, none of this happens to me. I just stay out of the fray. Cause I'm chicken. Or maybe I'm smart. My children aren't my property to do with as I please. I hesitate to use them in a public capacity. I'm also tired of overthinking things. Come to think of it, I'm just tired. So no conclusion for you! I'm going to bed.

2008-04-16T22:48:00.003-05:00

I'm sure I've mentioned once or twice how I feel about the concept of prizing virginity as precious gift to be protected by daddy, then handed over to a husband. I can't, for the life of me, get it to bother me that Conor has had sexual partners before me. Maybe I can't get it to bother me, since he has had fewer than I have. But I digress. That to say, I love LM Montgomery (authoress...her word...of the Anne of Green Gables series). And I love this quote:

"A man always asks to be a woman's first love; a woman wishes to be a man's last...I should not care how many predecessors I had; but I must have no successors!" - Lucy Maud Montgomery

2008-04-14T08:36:00.002-05:00

"Let children learn about different faiths, let them notice their incompatibility, and let them draw their own conclusions about the consequences of that incompatibility. As for whether they are ‘valid,’ let them make up their own minds when they are old enough to do so."— Richard Dawkins

One of the dangers of subscribing to this philosophy is your 3 year old marching around singing "This is the DAY, this is the DAY, that the LORD HAS MADE, that the LORD HAS MADE." She doesn't actually sing those words exactly, but that's the general idea.

My anniversary gift

2008-04-11T17:37:00.002-05:00

Conor said since he can't buy me a bungalow yet, he got me these instead. Cue the "aaawwwws".

Love you birdy.

Happy Anniversary, Birdy

2008-04-10T10:41:00.004-05:00

See how cool he is?

2008-04-08T10:32:00.002-05:00

It's that time of year my friends. The time that flowers bud, the snow melts, and new baby blogs are born. The collaboration of minds have emerged this spring with the blog "What to do, poopsy-woo?" dedicated to having fun with the small people in your life. Come visit us there, or come be our Myspace friend.

~Sarah

I love my job. Really I do.

2008-04-02T13:41:00.005-05:00

it's just today. i'll be better tomorrow....

I just have to say...

2008-03-27T12:19:00.003-05:00

I have loved rocking my babies to sleep. I approach with dread the day that Finn decides he wants to put himself down. There is nothing better than breathing in that sunshine and rainbows smell off that little blond head and snuggling his little body until he slips off. I would never ever trade the few years I've had of rocking my kids to sleep, despite the wakings and re-rockings we've been peppered with, for having a "trained" baby.

I know I've posted this poem before, but it bears repeating:

Song for a Fifth Child

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
hang out the washing and butter the bread,
sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Harvard Project Implicit

2008-03-27T10:20:00.004-05:00

I've taken the race test before, but I just found this Fat/Thin one. I love these tests. Take one for kicks! Here are my results to my test. No big surprise to me there. Here is a link to the list of available quizzes.

PROJECT IMPLICIT

You have completed the Fat - Thin IAT.

Your Result

Your data suggest a slight automatic preference for Fat People compared to Thin People.

Thank you for your participation. Just below is a breakdown of the scores generated by others. Most respondents find it easier to associate Fat people with Bad and Thin people with Good compared to the reverse.

Many of the questions that you answered on the previous page have been addressed in research over the last 10 years. For example, the order that you performed the response pairing is influential, but procedural corrections largely eliminate that influence (see FAQ #1). Each visitor to the site completes the task in a randomized order. If you would like to learn more about the IAT, please visit the FAQs and background information section.

You are welcome to try additional demonstration tasks, and we encourage you to register (easy) for the research site where you will gain access to studies about more than 100 topics about social groups, personality, pop culture, and more.

SATs

2008-03-20T09:21:00.001-05:00

Public kudos to Conor for his 1550 SAT score! Good job, birdy-brain!

2008-03-12T15:47:00.001-05:00

My reference to Canon in D reminded me of this hillarious rant on Pachelbel:

2008-03-12T12:45:00.002-05:00

1. Song that always makes you sad?

The Only Living Boy in New York (Simon & Garfunkle), I Do (Jude), In My Life (Beatles), Bring Him Home (Les Miserables)

2. Last thing you bought?

A pineapple.

3. Last person you argued with?

Probably Conor, I don't argue with very many people.

4. Do you put Butter .. putting the peanut butter on?

What? I don't know what that means.

5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?

Matilda ( I liked old lady names even then)

6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies CD?

Nope. Conor has a couple I think.

7. Favorite day of the week?

It makes no difference, they're all the same.

8. Favorite Sundae topping?

Caramel and nuts.

9. Did you take Piano lessons?

Yes.

10. Most frequent song played?

Canon in D. It's the only one I remember.

11. TV show you secretly enjoy?

Celebrity Fit Club, Jack's Big Music Show

12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?

I'm a beast at Field Hockey.

13. Date someone older or younger?

Out of the 4 that I would call "dated" 2 were slightly older, 2 were 2 years younger.

14. One place you could travel right now?

Anywhere but here.

15. Do you use umbrellas?

I can't without hearing that stupid "Umbrella, ella, ella, ella" song. Violet has a Hello Kitty one, that's about the only one we use.

16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?

Oh, Canada! That's all I know.

17. Favorite Cheese?

That's like asking me which is my favorite child. I like basil cheddar. Num.

18. The Smith's or the Cure?

Smiths.

19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?

I significantly prefer dark haired people.

20. Best job you ever had?

I liked working for Starbucks. I haven't have any jobs I'd write home about.

21. Did you go to your high school prom?

Nope.

22. Perfect time to wake up?

8

23. Perfect time to go to bed?

10

24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?

I don't know how to play chess.

25. Ever been in a car accident?

Nope.

26. Closer to mom or dad... or neither?

Mom.

27. What age is this exciting life over for you?

Whatever age it is, it has passed.

28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?

Hmm. That's a toughie. I like the style of the 40s, but progressively speaking, I probably wouldn't have dug it. I guess I'd have to go with the 60s if I couldn't choose the one I actually was a teenager in.

29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?

I had these rocket dogs. They were grey suede and had velcro straps. I loved them, and they got lost...I think in Omaha. I'm digging my new Kangaroos though.

30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?

Not anymore. I had a shirt from when I was 14. I finally got rid of it. It was completely threadbare.

31. Were you in track and field?

Have we met?

32. Were you ever in a school talent show?

No. I was in plays and such, but no actual talent show.

33. Have you ever written in a library book?

God, no. Who does that?

34. Allergic to?

Religion

35. Favorite fruit?

Hmm. I like mangos. I like raspberries.

36. Have you watched sex and the city?

Not of my own volition. I think it is mind-numbing.

37. Baseball hat or toque?

Toque? Who goes around wearing a toque as a fashion statement? On a side note, I hate baseball caps on girls. I like hats. Just not baseball caps.

38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?

Shampoo! I'm adamant about that.

39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?

Wet. And I've always brushed my teeth with hot water, which other people seem to find strange.

40. Pen or pencil?

Pen. Really good dark inky pens.

41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?

Just a bit.

42. Have you thrown up on a plane?

Yes. I was pregnant.

43. Have you thrown up in a car?

Not IN a car, but I vaguely recall Justin having to pull over to let me throw up. Very vaguely.

44. Have you thrown up at work?

Yes. Pregnant.

45. Do you scream on roller coasters?

Doubtful. I haven't been on one in years.

46. Who was your first prom date?

We've established that I did not go to prom.

47. Who was your first roommate?

Jenny.

48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?

Beer, I think. I don't remember.

49. What was your first job?

I worked for a weight loss clinic.

50. What was your first car?

Mazda 626 (1987)

51. When did you go to your first funeral?

I don't remember how old I was. 10 maybe?

52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?

17. To Mississippi.

53. Who was your first grade teacher?

I don't remember. My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Hartline.

54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?

My sister took me with a friend on a little tiny plane ride.

55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?

I never snuck out of my house.

56. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them?

Kevin. Yes.

57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?

With a cult.

58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?

Conor.

59. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?

My cousin. I was a "junior bridesmaid??"

60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Make breakfast for the kids if Conor hasn't, make Conor's lunch.

61. What do you do for fun?

Buy toilet paper, milk, and diapers.

What-to-do poopsy-woo?

2008-03-09T23:11:00.000-05:00

OOBLECK! For those of you who have never experienced the joys of oobleck, here's the scoop:

Oobleck is made from cornstarch and water. The term was originally coined in the Dr. Seuss book Bartholomew and the Oobleck, and was later adopted by this fascinating non-Newtonian fluid. When pressure is applied, the mixture acts as a solid and can be rolled into a ball. When the mixture is free of pressure, it returns to a liquid state. My kids and my dear physics buff, Conor, had never known the joys of oobleck, so I whipped up a batch.

Oobleck is made by mixing 2 parts cornstarch to 1 part water (ish...). I just dump a bunch of cornstarch in a bowl and add water until it I like the consistency. That's how I cook, that's how I make goo. A little food coloring is always fun too, but I didn't have any...at least I didn't have any I could find.

The solid/liquid properties are brilliantly displayed on a Spanish TV show as the hosts run across a pool of Oobleck

Here is Conor explaining to me what I had just made:

2008-03-09T22:25:00.000-05:00

And what does Violet think of Oobleck? Aside from having to wash her hands every 37 seconds...

little girl in the big city

2008-03-08T09:25:00.006-05:00

------------------

Conor has applied to 2 schools, both of them in the city. Since the life I want is not one of him being gone an extra 3 hours a day commuting, we're planning on moving closer to the city. Conor has continually told me to look at houses in the city, and I have continually refused and looked at outlying areas. Yesterday I called him and said "you know how you tell me things all the time, and I never believe you until I find them out for myself?" "Yes," he says. "Well there are some awesome houses in Chicago proper in good areas in our price range." "Yes," he says.

I suppose with 2.8 million people in Chicago proper, there would have to be something, hmm? I have hated to admit to myself that the reason I didn't want to look in the city is that I'm a scaredy cat. We live in Aurora, for goodness sakes. Crime ain't so grand here either. I am officially suburban. I assumed that houses in the city don't have clean streets and yards and garages and such. I assumed that we couldn't drive, and I'd have to haul the kids around on the bus. The BUS, people. I don't know how to use a BUS! I don't even understand how people know where they're going. And then there's the train. All these colors! Red, green, blue, purple, chartreuse, puce, I have no clue where they go or stop or come from. Looking at houses has kind of started to cure me though. There are garages. And yards. And decks. And driveways...with cars in them. I've started to get a little more excited at the prospect of living in the city. But I feel like a country bumpkin.

finished! (with the first one anyway)

2008-02-26T21:48:00.006-05:00

So here's my cutesy bag. I made it from the book Bend the Rules Sewing by Amy Karol author of the craft blog Angry Chicken. It was a blast. Her projects generally require little fabric, they're quick, and simple, and ubercute. So this is my first project from the book. A simple lined bag with darts on the bottom to make it a little flat. The handle is threaded through casings, enabling the bag to slightly gather when it's held. Pick up the book, seriously. It has something for everyone. Accessories, Home Decor, Baby stuffs. I especially love her philosophy on crafting, which is in a nutshell: Craft because you love to craft and you want something unique. You can buy nearly anything for cheaper than you can make it these days, so crafting to save money is obsolete. I needed to hear that.

Happy Crafting!

i bought myself a present

2008-02-25T19:09:00.003-05:00

startin' a new project

2008-02-25T16:36:00.002-05:00

2008-02-24T10:34:00.002-05:00

I have cabin fever. And burnout. I'm living in a burned-out cabin.

brief conversations with myself

2008-02-23T19:21:00.002-05:00

having one was a piece of fucking cake. that is all.

do other people really have clean houses? how does this work exactly?

if your house is a fucking wreck (i'm feeling like some f-bombs today) do people see fit to bring it to your husband's attention?

Ricky Gervais on Creation

2008-02-21T11:41:00.001-05:00

MORE AT ATHEISTNATION.NET

Thursday's Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo Trivia

2008-02-21T11:31:00.000-05:00

Today's topic is Science & Technology

Rather Timely

2008-02-20T08:45:00.002-05:00

If ever I needed to read this, it is now. I've declared my new job title "psychiatric orderly". I am, on occasion, losing sight of the bigger picture.

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: A Human Becoming ::

In a product-oriented culture, there's a tendency to"productize" and "package" people. We often forget that a human being is a living process -- a "human becoming."
Children are especially dynamic -- often visibly different from one day to the next -- and no two children develop precisely the same way. This can be a challenge for us when we've been conditioned to "need"the predictability (read: controllability) of static products.
Many parent-child struggles can be avoided simply by allowing children to be different than they were the previous day, or even the previous minute! A toddler may "hate" peas at the beginning of the meal and"love" them by the end of the meal, provided the parent doesn't pronounce the child a pea-hater in the interim.
Today, be mindful of the way you talk about your child. Note that *labels* tend to productize. You can avoid labels by focusing on the process. For example,"he's a fussy eater" becomes "he's figuring out his tastes."
Especially avoid "always" and "never" statements like "she *never* brushes her teeth willingly. "Someday she will. :-)

http://dailygroove.net/human-becoming
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Belated Valentines

2008-02-19T18:07:00.003-05:00

Conor, I wrote you this love poem:

Your skin glows like the guava, blossoms resplendant as the geranium in the purest hope of spring.

My heart follows your sitar voice and leaps like a panther at the whisper of your name.

The evening floats in on a great finch wing.

I am comforted by your earmuffs that I carry into the twilight of blossombeams and hold next to my ear lobe.

I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of ink.

As my elbow falls from my long johns, it reminds me of your french horn.

In the quiet, I listen for the last rustling of the day.

My heated knuckle leaps to my cape.

I wait in the moonlight for your secret statue so that we may wrap as one, knuckle to knuckle, in search of the magnificient crimson and mystical dictionary of love.

---------------------------------------

Seriously, now people. I got it from here: Love poem generator Post your poems in the comments!

Oh my aching sides....

2008-02-18T18:39:00.002-05:00

9 Manliest Names in the World

brief conversations with myself

2008-02-18T10:48:00.002-05:00

Why can't people let kids be in charge of their own hair? If Violet wants to shave her head and dye it purple with kool-aid, fine with me. If Finn wants to grow his hair out and pincurl it every night, I'd be curious, but fine with me.
Why am I biased against Sketchers? They have shoes that I like just fine, but I refuse to get them because they are Sketchers. But I don't know why.
Why must Finn climb on top of the TV and watch it hanging upside down over the screen?

... to be updated as my day progresses...

President's Day Trivia

2008-02-18T08:27:00.001-05:00

Today's topic is HISTORY, what else?

Sunday's Trivia

2008-02-17T12:41:00.000-05:00

Today's topic is "Celebrities"

Saturday's Trivia

2008-02-16T10:11:00.002-05:00

Today's topic is Religion. Click the link on the scoreboard that I can't seem to fix so it fits in the sidebar.

Feel like cringing?

2008-02-16T09:57:00.001-05:00

MORE AT ATHEISTNATION.NET

Now I realize, if you're looking for dumb people you're going to edit it to appear worse than it may be. I also realize, if you're looking for dumb people, you're not going to have to go far.

Another interesting read Are Americans Hostile to Knowledge?

Another insightful Scott Noelle creation

2008-02-15T11:41:00.002-05:00

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: FEEL Your Way to Find Your Way ::

Once you understand that the primary purpose of your emotions is to guide your thinking, you no longer need to over-rely on cold rationality to make good parenting decisions.
Your decisions can be "emotional" without being irrational. (They may, however, transcend conventional rationality.)

The key is to be willing to *wait*. Take no action until your emotions give you the green light, because your culturally pre-programmed answers come up immediately, while your creative process takes sometime to ripen.

Often a particular choice seems very reasonable, but you feel *something* isn't quite right. Connecting with the feeling and waiting for more clarity usually reveal another aspect that, when considered, leads to a better course of action.

If you have a history of indecisiveness, don't go for"perfect" decisions. When your creative process leads to any feeling of *relief*, consider it a green light for a *good enough* decision. You can always amend your decision later.

http://dailygroove.net/feel-your-way
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

....Discuss....

Friday's Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo Trivia

2008-02-15T08:37:00.002-05:00

HOBBIES!

Thursday's Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo Trivia

2008-02-14T08:57:00.001-05:00

MOVIES- Intermediate

Come play!

my tv refrigerator

2008-02-13T22:39:00.003-05:00

This is what my fridge should always look like. Doesn't it look fake? I love it. See all my delicious healthful options? See how I pre-washed all my produce? There are parsnips in there, people. PARSNIPS. Do I sound desperate for praise? Where's my cookie? Er...organic mango slice...

Introducing: Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo Trivia !

2008-02-13T09:21:00.002-05:00

Come on down and test your skillz. Your mad skillz.

You'll have to set up an username and password so you can come play everyday.

So, come play play with me.

They can milk me for a donation any day of the week.

2008-02-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

I got so excited over this I started twitching. Infant and young child nutrition is not only so complex and fascinating, but is also near and dear to my heart.

ARTICLE TAKEN IN IT'S ENTIRETY FROM HERE:

BOLDING MINE!

Breast milk contains stem cells

Monday, 11 February 2008
By Catherine Madden

The Perth scientist who made the world-first discovery that human breast milk contains stem cells is confident that within five years scientists will be harvesting them to research treatment for conditions as far-reaching as spinal injuries, diabetes and Parkinson’s disease.
But what Dr Mark Cregan is excited about right now is the promise that his discovery could be the start of many more exciting revelations about the potency of breast milk.
He believes that it not only meets all the nutritional needs of a growing infant but contains key markers that guide his or her development into adulthood.
“We already know how breast milk provides for the baby’s nutritional needs, but we are only just beginning to understand that it probably performs many other functions,” says Dr Cregan, a molecular biologist at The University of Western Australia.
He says that, in essence, a new mother’s mammary glands take over from the placenta to provide the development guidance to ensure a baby’s genetic destiny is fulfilled.
“It is setting the baby up for the perfect development,” he says. “We already know that babies who are breast fed have an IQ advantage and that there’s a raft of other health benefits. Researchers also believe that the protective effects of being breast fed continue well into adult life.
“The point is that many mothers see milks as identical – formula milk and breast milk look the same so they must be the same. But we know now that they are quite different and a lot of the effects of breast milk versus formula don’t become apparent for decades. Formula companies have focussed on matching breast milk’s nutritional qualities but formula can never provide the developmental guidance.”
It was Dr Cregan’s interest in infant health that led him to investigate the complex cellular components of human milk. “I was looking at this vast complexity of cells and I thought, ‘No one knows anything about them’.”
His hunch was that if breast milk contains all these cells, surely it has their precursors, too?
His team cultured cells from human breast milk and found a population that tested positive for the stem cell marker, nestin. Further analysis showed that a side population of the stem cells were of multiple lineages with the potential to differentiate into multiple cell types. This means the cells could potentially be “reprogrammed” to form many types of human tissue.
He presented his research at the end of January to 200 of the world’s leading experts in the field at the International Conference of the Society for Research on Human Milk and Lactation in Perth.
“We have shown these cells have all the physical characteristics of stem cells. What we will do next is to see if they behave like stem cells,” he says.
If so, they promise to provide researchers with an entirely ethical means of harvesting stem cells for research without the debate that has dogged the harvesting of cells from embryos.
Further research on immune cells, which have also been found in breast milk and have already been shown to survive the baby’s digestive process, could provide a pathway to developing targets to beat certain viruses or bacteria.

2008-02-10T17:03:00.000-05:00

Today I paid off 3 credit cards to the tune of $5200. Nothin' like paying for stuff you already bought. But I feel good.

2008-02-06T10:54:00.000-05:00

I get daily parenting emails from Scott Noelle. He has an incredible knack for helping me really "get" a child's perspective. I really enjoyed today's, so I'm sharing it:

THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Nothing but Roses ::

The age-old advice to "stop and smell the roses"is more poignant than ever in these times of over-scheduled, task-driven lifestyles. As adults, that could mean taking a few minutes a day to appreciate the little things that add sweetness to our lives. But for children, especially the very young, virtually *everything* is a rose!

Imagine stepping outside and witnessing a total eclipse of the sun that reveals a glorious meteor shower, accompanied by a choir of dogs howling in three-part harmony! Everything is that extraordinary to a child because s/he hasn't been around long enough for very many things to seem "ordinary."

So the next time you're in a hurry and your child is"dawdling," remember that s/he is simply smelling the roses.

Let your child inspire you to don your own "beginner's mind" and experience the fresh uniqueness of this"ordinary" moment.

http://dailygroove.net/roses
Feel free to forward this message to your friends! (Please include this paragraph and everything above.) Copyright (c) 2008 by Scott Noelle

Postage paid

2008-02-05T17:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I received a survey in the mail from "The Research Institute of Mother and Child Care". It was a survey on infant and toddler feeding. What appeared at first to be a little non-profit's survey, was soon clearly a front for a major formula company. The questions were essentially geared to find out where I got certain types of formula (like the kind I gave back to the nurse at the hospital), which checks or coupons I'd received, and how those affected my future purchasing choices. They even go so far as to ask how I liked the packaging. Not being one to sit on my hands in these situations, I'm sending them this:

On consistency

2008-01-31T23:26:00.000-05:00

DISCLAIMER: I write these things to myself. I am not scolding strangers on the internet who happen by my blog. Thank you. Read on.

Be consistent is the mantra they chant at you. What if you're a sucky parent? Don't wanna be consistent at that, do you? I suppose it is blind consistency I'm opposed to. Everyday with the small people is a learning experience. Life just doesn't work by a timetable and rigid rulebook. If I make an off-the-cuff "no" answer to Violet, and she responds with a thoughtful explanation (or occasional screaming fit - depending on the day) of her intent, I reserve the right to change my mind. As a "for instance" from this summer:

Mama: Violet it's time to go get in bed
Violet: Go outside!
Mama: We can't go outside now, it's time for bed and you're all clean and shiny.
Violet: Say goodnight to Mr. Turtle (who lived outside at the time)
Mama: Oooooh. Ok, let's say goodnight to Mr. Turtle

There are those who immediately think that changing my mind (the original woman's prerogative) will eventually result in Violet blocking me from her brain and running headlong into the street (along with the old "you've gotta spank 'em so they learn" argument so often accompanying the "running in the street" scenario)

And again, if I respond "No" to something thoughtlessly, that I'm willing to give in on, I shouldn't have been saying no to begin with. So I learn not to throw nos around like I'm throwing rice at a wedding. I by no means am suggesting that one day you let them redecorate your house with poster paint, and the next smack the crayon out of their hand when they step away from the paper. I'm just suggesting this: Throw out the training manuals. Those are for dogs and beauty queens. Act like they're people. Who have an opinion, who are learning to argue their case to the world. Cause they are.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds ~ Emerson

2008-01-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

I see Conor everytime I look at Heath Ledger's face. I always have. The resemblence is uncanny, and I'm incredibly unnerved.

I'm grasping for entertainment, here.

2008-01-20T23:13:00.000-05:00

Four jobs I have had in my life:
Starbucks Barista
Starbucks Shift Supervisor
Starbucks Assistant Manager
Starbucks Store Manager

(I started working there when I was 18, what do you want from me?)

Four Movies I would watch over and over:
Much Ado About Nothing
It's A Wonderful Life
Kung Fu Hustle
Newsies (yes, yes I did)

Four Places I have lived:
Illinois
Mississippi
South Carolina
Michigan

Four TV Shows that I like to watch:
Big Love
Scrubs
The Shield
Weeds

Four Places I have been:
India
Russia
Uzbekistan (I was in the airport, I know that doesn't count but come ON. It's Uzbekistan)
The Fireswamp fighting ROUSes

Four People who e-mail me (regularly):
Naperville Freecycle
Craigslist folks I'm gettin' stuff from or sellin' stuff too
Momma
Brother Nathan

Favorite things to eat:
Baked brie and french bread
Gnocci Pomodoro
Orange juice. Yes, I eat orange juice.
Lindt chocolate balls. Thanks a lot Kaitlin!

Four places I would rather be right now:
Asleep with a little downy blonde blueberry shampoo smellin' baby head under my nose.
In a better financial position.
In a clean house.
With a friend. I have the lonelies. boo hoo.

Things I am looking forward to this year:
Creating the life I want.
Being crafty.
Paying off debt.
One year closer to Conor being done with school.

2008-01-18T11:56:00.000-05:00

Can I just say that I think it's flippin' great that Keely Shaye Smith (Pierce Brosnan's wife) wore a bikini for her ocean romp? Remember her from Unsolved Mysteries? Love her.

conor, you lucky, lucky man

2008-01-16T22:17:00.000-05:00

I am wearing: A green maternity t-shirt. Brown goucho capri pants. Sweater socks with poodles on them (inside out), and orange crocs. I will say, in my own defense, that I got dressed rather quickly, as I was covered in vomit. (See previous post). No pictures for you. I'm not that secure.

Bad Smells and Premonitions

2008-01-16T19:45:00.000-05:00

Today I smelled vomit. Off and on all day. I was sniffing my hair, my coat, my shirt; trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. Fast forward >>>>> Violet woke up in a foul mood. She's taken a nap the last two days which is very unusual. She was telling us her foot hurt, her leg hurt, her head hurt, her belly hurt. I sat with her on the couch and said to Conor,"Maybe she just doesn't feel good." BLLLAAAHHHHH.... all over me. So here's the clincher: It always happens. Everytime my kids get sick, I smell vomit all day. BEFORE they're ill at all. You would think that I would eventually just say "hey, someone's getting sick tonight...." But it makes me feel a little craaazy. I mean, it is a little odd, right? Violet sent herself to bed at 6. Poor wee flower.

Pretty darn accurate

2008-01-15T08:50:00.000-05:00

Author unknown:

HOW TO PREPARE FOR BECOMING A PARENT
Lesson 1
Go to the grocery store.Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.Go home.Pick up the paper.Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who alreadyare parents and berate them about their:Methods of discipline.Lack of patience.Appallingly low tolerance levels.Allowing their children to run wild.Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will haveall the answers.

Lesson 3
To discover how the nights will feel...Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighingapproximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some otherobnoxious sound) playing loudly.At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until1AM.Set the alarm for 3AM.As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.Go to bed at 2:45AM.Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.Look cheerful.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there allsummer.Stick your fingers in the flower bed.Then rub them on the clean walls.Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hangout.Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn itinto an alligator.Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tapeand a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmascandle.Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of CocoaPuffs.Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave itout in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look likethat.Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.Leave it there.Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player.Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the backseat.Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.There. Perfect.

Lesson 8
Get ready to go out.Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.Go out the front door.Come in again. Go out.Come back in.Go out again.Walk down the front path.Walk back up it.Walk down it again.Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about everycigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insectalong the way.Retrace your steps.Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighborscome out and stare at you.Give up and go back into the house.You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9
Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you canfind to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate havingchildren.

Lesson 11
Hollow out a melon.Make a small hole in the side.Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into theswaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.

Lesson 12
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney,the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least fiveyears.

Lesson 13
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfwayand stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important:no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional crescendoto the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuallytug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy"tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation withan adult while there is a child in the room.

2008-01-10T00:59:00.001-05:00

Pardon me while I mess with my html. I'm fiddlin'.

eta- don't mind my mish mash of goodies either. i'm teaching myself stuff...

2008-01-08T20:56:00.000-05:00

Today I sold a corset, plaid skirt, and fencenet stockings on craigslist, (Yeah, yeah, yeah....) to a 50 year old businessman. I'm pretty sure they were for him. He wanted to make sure the fencenets would be ok height-wise.

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T19:56:00.001-05:00

Love,

The Jensens (and their driveway)

not dorky

2007-12-30T19:47:00.001-05:00

crafty goodness

2007-12-30T10:50:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas from the Jensens

2007-12-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

Holiday Hoopla

2007-12-19T13:58:00.000-05:00

From Ann

1. List 12 random things about yourself that have to do with Christmas : DONE

2. Please refer to it as a 'hoopla' and not the dreaded 'm'-word : OK I DID IT, BUT I HEART RICHARD DAWKINS SO MUCH IT KINDA PAINED ME

3. You have to specifically tag people when you're done. None of this "if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged" stuff is allowed.: YOU CAN'T MAAAAKE MEEEE...

4. Please try and do it as quickly as possible. The Christmas season will be over before we know it: GEEZ, PRESSURE PRESSURE.

HERE GOES:

1) I love snowflakes. I want snowflake tattoos. I get silly when I get an actual snowflake (rather than a snow clump) on my coat. I called Conor the other day to tell him a snowflake landed on me. ] I want this book.

2) One of Conor's husbandly duties is to get me an ornament every year.
He got me 3 pottery barn snowflakes last year that I adore.

3) I also love stockings, but I'm too cheap to buy nice ones. I think I'll make some soon. When I was a kid we had these knit Snoopy stockings. They were really cute until you wanted to get your loot out and you had to disengage everything from the mess of yarn that was the inside of the stocking. About the only thing you could get out of it was an orange or some similarly edgeless item.

4) As a kid, our Christmas tree broke in half and for years we put it on a little round table so it wouldn't be 3 feet tall. Our neighbor called it the "Tannenbush".

5) Also as a kid, we had a big spire on top of our tree. We always thought it was totally LAME,
and wanted a star like normal people. What do I have on my tree now? A big ol' spire.

6) I have a little 3 tree cluster that I wired ornaments onto that we put outside. It's super cute. Conor has had to move it so many times, and it doesn't fit in a box. He has an irrational hatred of this tree and tries to come up with a reason to throw it away every time he comes across it.

7) The bottom third of our tree is pretty bare. Guess why.

8) I have never sent out Christmas cards. I'm not on the ball that way. I think I may have a tradition of sending out New Years cards.

9) I have also never had a live tree. I've always wanted one. I'm also not on the ball enough to keep it alive.

10) I wonder why people can't write witty self-deprecating Christmas letters. People take them too seriously. I can't stand the kid bragging. People take way too much credit for stuff their kids do.

11) Violet has expanded her Little People nativity.

LOOK OUT BABY JESUS!

12) My favorite ornaments I made several years ago from card stock. I painted them with either silver or a pearl paint, spray adhesive and really fine glitter. I hung them with a loop of copper colored wire. They catch the light on the tree so beautifully.

That's the Christmas spirit!

2007-12-13T12:08:00.000-05:00

If Christians believe, as they claim, that God is omniscient and omnipotent. They have to then believe that the death of Christ was pretty carefully planned out and (pardon the bad pun) executed. If that is the case, then stop blaming the Jews for his death. Blame God. It was his idea.

...and peace on earth, good will towards men. 'cept them dirty Jews. And that Muslim guy.

Full Metal Rudolph

2007-12-10T11:43:00.000-05:00

The censored version. I think the jingle bells make it funnier. We've watched Rudolph about 30 times this week.

hanukkah ham

2007-12-08T14:11:00.000-05:00

Apparantly, I'm just feeling critical these days

2007-12-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

Lookin 4 da rite gurl....R u her?

Answer: No. No, I'm not.

2007-11-30T13:47:00.000-05:00

I wish I found this funny. I really do. Unfortunately, I want to vomit while punching her in the head.

I by no means think that to succeed in life, one needs to know the capital of Hungary. There are plenty plenty plenty of world capitals I don't know. Of course, I have a world map for a shower curtain, so I learn while I bathe. But an occasional look around at the world outside of pop music might avail a person the opportunity to not make a total fool of oneself on national television. I guess it speaks to a larger problem of our myopic view of the world. Everyone doesn't have to be well versed in world geography. People live their lives productively without it. I don't quiz my plumber. I just hope he knows how to plumb. Perhaps I shouldn't expect my pop stars to do more than....well, pop?

2007-11-29T18:49:00.001-05:00

It's an update extravaganza over at the Flower and Finn.

Winter Tradition

2007-11-24T14:09:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year again.

2007-11-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

Religious Indoctrination

2007-11-06T14:30:00.001-05:00

The Veggie Tales have landed. Those people over there at Big Idea have damned me. The songs are infections, the dialogue engaging. Saturated in religion. I can't bring myself to ban it. They have songs about homophones. They have haikus.....HAIKUS PEOPLE! The last one we watched had some pretty offensive stuff about pagans. That pissed me off. The God references are overwhelming. Why does it have to be so GOOD? Harumph.

2007-11-03T11:01:00.000-05:00

Evolution Graffiti

beautiful to perfect

2007-11-01T14:44:00.000-05:00

Take a look at this before/after retouching Redbook cover of Faith Hill.

Faith Hill

HAPpy halloWEEN

2007-10-31T12:16:00.000-05:00

whadja say?

2007-10-26T08:35:00.000-05:00

2007-10-23T19:16:00.001-05:00

Conor has successfully completed tech school: (party hats and streamers!)

He graduated as "Distinguished Graduate" with an unheard of 98%.

While in tech school, he also maintained a 4.0 in college through online courses.

Somehow, he also managed to read these:

WHAT THE HELL? I'm becoming concerned that he may be a robot.

2007-10-15T15:20:00.000-05:00

Sadly, Sesame Street depicts bottle-feeding as the norm now. But this clip is so sweet. I had a little boy ask me if Finn was eating my arm.

Like a dog in heat

2007-10-13T21:08:00.000-05:00

Every time I hear the commercials for the period-eliminating contraceptives, I find it a little disconcerting. I tend to embrace being a woman, and believe that even if this pill proves "safe" over the long term (which I doubt), that eliminating the menstrual cycle in adult women will have other lasting ill effects on the psyche, the circadian rhythm, and who knows what else. Well now we've come to realize that it may have an even more dire effect. Tips! A new study has shown that lap dancers in their fertile stage get better tips than their counterparts on contraceptives. (FYI, periods while on the pill are kind of "faux" periods anyway." From the study:

But the study does appear to show that the dancers somehow advertise their fertility to men, who then consider them more attractive during this fertile phase, as reflected in their tips. How they advertise, however, and whether they do it consciously, is unclear. "We don't know the mechanism of attraction," says Thornhill, who is also at the University of New Mexico but was not involved with the study. "Are the men detecting the scent of oestrus? Or does the women's behaviour change?" he asks.

ideas, ideas, ideas!

2007-10-13T20:53:00.000-05:00

I don't know if anyone has heard of TED. It is an annual conference for the free exchange of ideas. I'm addicted to the videos of the speakers. My latest obsession is this one.

She is a lexicographer who has such a refreshing view of language evolution. I tend to be a straight-laced, if it isn't in the dictionary, it isn't a real word. A "No you are NOT NAUSEOUS, unless you feel like you make other people sick, you are NAUSEATED!!! I feel like watching this did me some good.